playing pretend

Of late, I've been trying to stay out of politics, but seriously...I don't get it.

We need to get our head out of the sand about the importance of a senate investigation. These are people who couldn't figure out whether or not baseball players are using steroids. And are so powerful that not only do baseball players continue to use steroids, baseball didn't miss a single game for being the breeding ground for high profile drug use. In short, a senate investigation is pointless. Remember when Condaleeza Rice went before the senate and admitted that she knew about 9/11 before it happenned? Yeah, now she's secretary of state. Hell, Zimbabwe called her a fascist. We're taking criticism from ZIMBABWE.

Instead of a senate investigation, we need to start thinking about treason and capital punishment. Those responsible for our nation's catastrophe should have to face the fate of a nation's enemies. Oil companies are facing record profits, eh? Well, that stinks like a conspiracy to weaken the United States through economic means. Why are we going all the way to Iraq to fight our nation's enemies, when we have so many of these bastards right here at home? Now, I know what you're saying. You're saying "Monstro, isn't the death penalty kind of harsh?"

Well, maybe, but if you are squeemish, I can offer a solution. Exile. To Iraq. I hear the training of their police corps is coming along swimmingly, I'm sure they could protect any number of fat cat Americans who happen to be usurping their nation's resources.

Or hey, even better, send them to Iran so they can help the Iranians to choose democracy when our bombs hit them.

Why I can't call myself a Motley Crue fan

Because they suck donkey ass.

But I'm sure you want the long answer.

Well, you see, in the beginning, good always overpowered the evil of all man's sins. Not some mind you: ALL. But in time the nations grew weak and our cities fell to slums to an evil so strong: which I'm thinking is either IPod or Full House. I mean, I'm not really sure when this corruption hit, mind you, so I guess I could say hippies. But...you know what, fuck it, I think it might have been the hippies. Anyway, in the dusts of hell lurked the blackest of hates for he whom they feared awaited them. Yeah, sorry about all this mystery, this generic HE. Let's just say...Martin Van Buren--aka "The Little Magician." Regardless, now, many many life times later, [there] lay destroyed beaten beaten down only corpses of rebels ashes of dreams and blood stained streets. Which is the beginning of my trouble, I suppose, with Motley Crue, which might be called a reaction to narrative inconsistency. I mean, here's a plot hole so big you could get a steam ship through it. How are there corpses around after generations. Corpses don't last generation, do they? What? Maybe zombies. Is that the point. The rebels became zombies because of the ashes of bloodstained streets...and how in the hell do you get ashes of bloodstained streets. Seriously.

Oh wait...I see, the ashes are of dreams, and there are also some bloodstained streets, but still. I mean, that is a bit confusion. How 'bout clearing that us up for us you no talent Spinal Tap rip off. Because, honestly, it has been written"Those who have the youth Have the future." So come now children of the beast be strong And Shout at the Devil.

...

Wait a minute, I'm confused. Are we with the devil or against the devil in this. I mean, like we're the children of the beast, so doesn't that make us the children of the devil? Or is the point here that the children of rebels are rebels themselves and therefore rebel against their rebellious fathers. But then, doesn't that just make us comformists? Is there some sort of unholy manachean relationship going on; is the devil the same as the beast?

Like the thing is, I've been thinking a lot about this lately, and I don't think it's a good idea to shout at the devil. Now, I'm not saying that you should like the devil. If you live next to the devil, then by all means, invite him to the neighborhood bbq. I mean, there's never a good excuse for rudeness, but I think shouting at the devil is a bad idea.

No, not because he could like...you know...devour your soul. It's more like he's had it kind of rough as of late, and shouting at him is just like kicking the guy when he's down. Again, you don't have to be friends with him or anything like that, I mean he is THE devil: he's kind of a dick. But it's not like shouting at him is going to help. You'll just be another person in his life, one of a long string, who have dealt with his attitude by shouting turning the young misanthrope into the full grown rebel to the aged prince of darkness babbling at Sharon. Wait, wrong band.

My point is that you are just qualifying the devil's bahavior by shouting at him. And besides that, you know how being gay might be...you know... a sin. Well, that means that the devil's gay, and so now you're shouting at a gay guy. That's homophobic. That's all I'm saying.

You know what I mean. It's like, "hey children of the Beast, be strong and DON'T shout at the devil." That's what the world really needs, you know.

Wait...I just had a thought. Is Motley Crue subtely pusing Christian rock? I mean, isn't that kind of the point here: take arms against the devil. You don't hear about any fucking buhddists taking arms against the devil, do you? No. That's like Pat Robertson territory. Wow, Motley Crue: Christian rock. Makes sense.

Actually, you know what, I'm going to go with my first answer: Motley Crue sucks donkey ass.