God hates Muslims
Can you already here the ululations. Shout out it from the minerettes mother fuckers! Actually, I don't believe God hates Muslims, just as I don't believe that we should extend our opinions about the Muslims to all Muslims. There are good Muslims out there--but I want to say this, I think that, as far as the Middle East goes, good Muslims may be exceptions.
I know what you're going to say. This is racist. This is stereotyping at its worst, and I'm inclined to agree with you. But let's for a moment pretend that I wasn't talking about Muslims. Let's pretend that I was talking about Nazis, and I said, that there were some Nazis who actually were good people but on the whole Nazism as a political doctrine was evil. Wouldn't you agree with that statement? Wouldn't you agree that some Nazis (actual Nazis not neo-Nazis)weren't war criminals or that they might have joined the party for political rather than racist reasons? Then why not the other?
Let me try this another way. When was the last time you ever heard of any Muslim country doing something that wasn't fucking nuts? Seriously, world stage, when? Do you ever hear about Muslim leaders striking a peace accord in earnest, or I don't know coming up with a world environmental meeting, or showing up to discuss global politics. Anything like that. No. They are pretty much always in the news for mistreating their women, or having a jihad, or fahtwah, or rioting, or using chemical weapons on their own people, or whatever. I'm just saying that you don't have to go very far to find images of Muslims in the Middle East going shit-can crazy. I don't know. I'm just saying.
I'm not condemning the entire religion. I'm saying that many people in the Middle East are shit-can crazy and that I sometimes feel as though we should deal with them like you would deal with a crack fiend with a broken bottle to your child's throat. Better?
I mean, any other country, if another country attacked them without provocation and then chose to occupy them, that country would gain the world's sympathies, but no country in the middle East is able to gain the world's sympathies, and why? Because large segments of their population act like rabid dogs. You don't hate Atticus Finch for shooting the mad dog in To Kill A Mockingbird. You respect him for doing what has to be done.
So, I'm torn. On the one hand, I don't like Bush. I don't like what he's doing. In principle, I think it's morally wrong. On the other hand, I want him to fucking nuke the savages. And on the other hand, I really want to say that they can't ALL be savages, but daily that last opinion is taking a beating. So, what do you do?
Let me tell you why I have come to this solution. First of all, a picture, a drawing, of Muhammad with a bomb in his turban. Yeah, it's offensive. But then so is half the shit people do with Jesus and you don't see Christians killing Mel Gibson. The other day, my wife downloaded a video of Jesus singing I will survive. She's still alive and we're still married. The thing with Muhammad was a fucking cartoon...you know, like Daffy fucking Duck. The people who died because of it were not cartoons.
Now, the middle East is making a response by asking for people to make equally offensive cartoons about the Holocaust. Mmmm...I don't see the logic. "You made fun of our prophet, and so therefore, we're going to make fun of the death of 11 million unarmed civilians." Great. Supposedly, this is to check the "west's"--which strangely includes Israel's--threshold for offensive drawings. Wouldn't it be better to make fun of Jesus and have us NOT burn down an embassy? Wouldn't that be the logical equivalent?
And if not, if this is all about our tolerance for the transgressions of taboo, why not just sell advertising space for child snuff films, or I don't know, televise our innocent people getting their heads cut off...that would probably do it too.
That's probably a good place to end this blog, but I don't want to just end it with a clever little quip. People, there is evil out there in the world. That's not a joke. Evil exists. Here's how you spot it. You catch someone who has just murdered an innocent person and you ask them, "why did you do it?" If they answer, "because of this cartoon I saw," they're not exhibiting a cultural difference, they're fucking evil.
I know what you're going to say. This is racist. This is stereotyping at its worst, and I'm inclined to agree with you. But let's for a moment pretend that I wasn't talking about Muslims. Let's pretend that I was talking about Nazis, and I said, that there were some Nazis who actually were good people but on the whole Nazism as a political doctrine was evil. Wouldn't you agree with that statement? Wouldn't you agree that some Nazis (actual Nazis not neo-Nazis)weren't war criminals or that they might have joined the party for political rather than racist reasons? Then why not the other?
Let me try this another way. When was the last time you ever heard of any Muslim country doing something that wasn't fucking nuts? Seriously, world stage, when? Do you ever hear about Muslim leaders striking a peace accord in earnest, or I don't know coming up with a world environmental meeting, or showing up to discuss global politics. Anything like that. No. They are pretty much always in the news for mistreating their women, or having a jihad, or fahtwah, or rioting, or using chemical weapons on their own people, or whatever. I'm just saying that you don't have to go very far to find images of Muslims in the Middle East going shit-can crazy. I don't know. I'm just saying.
I'm not condemning the entire religion. I'm saying that many people in the Middle East are shit-can crazy and that I sometimes feel as though we should deal with them like you would deal with a crack fiend with a broken bottle to your child's throat. Better?
I mean, any other country, if another country attacked them without provocation and then chose to occupy them, that country would gain the world's sympathies, but no country in the middle East is able to gain the world's sympathies, and why? Because large segments of their population act like rabid dogs. You don't hate Atticus Finch for shooting the mad dog in To Kill A Mockingbird. You respect him for doing what has to be done.
So, I'm torn. On the one hand, I don't like Bush. I don't like what he's doing. In principle, I think it's morally wrong. On the other hand, I want him to fucking nuke the savages. And on the other hand, I really want to say that they can't ALL be savages, but daily that last opinion is taking a beating. So, what do you do?
Let me tell you why I have come to this solution. First of all, a picture, a drawing, of Muhammad with a bomb in his turban. Yeah, it's offensive. But then so is half the shit people do with Jesus and you don't see Christians killing Mel Gibson. The other day, my wife downloaded a video of Jesus singing I will survive. She's still alive and we're still married. The thing with Muhammad was a fucking cartoon...you know, like Daffy fucking Duck. The people who died because of it were not cartoons.
Now, the middle East is making a response by asking for people to make equally offensive cartoons about the Holocaust. Mmmm...I don't see the logic. "You made fun of our prophet, and so therefore, we're going to make fun of the death of 11 million unarmed civilians." Great. Supposedly, this is to check the "west's"--which strangely includes Israel's--threshold for offensive drawings. Wouldn't it be better to make fun of Jesus and have us NOT burn down an embassy? Wouldn't that be the logical equivalent?
And if not, if this is all about our tolerance for the transgressions of taboo, why not just sell advertising space for child snuff films, or I don't know, televise our innocent people getting their heads cut off...that would probably do it too.
That's probably a good place to end this blog, but I don't want to just end it with a clever little quip. People, there is evil out there in the world. That's not a joke. Evil exists. Here's how you spot it. You catch someone who has just murdered an innocent person and you ask them, "why did you do it?" If they answer, "because of this cartoon I saw," they're not exhibiting a cultural difference, they're fucking evil.