Now THAT was a virus

Okay, I don't know whether to shoot Yippey, or just plain quake in fear. Let's try it this way... Normally when my computer breaks, it breaks. It breaks good, no way of fixing it, and I spend a few months fixing the fixes. A computer that breaks for Monstro is equal to 2-3 months without a computer.

This time was different. My computer broke yesterday at around this same time and I am now up to par. I am unable, only, to run my army builders program and so I will have to produce my armies the old fashioned way--with the codex.

But if ever there was an example of a broken computer, let me tell you, that was it. I am fairly sure that it was a virus, and so, let me just say...watch out. The virus did the following:

1.) it eliminated the start function from my desktop. Not even the start key on my keyboard worked.

2.) it turned off my soundcard. No amount of re-installing drivers would bring it back.

3.) it prevented Internet explorer from recognizing any link that involved java or javascript. Thus I could look at my e-mail but could not reply or start a new one.

Number 3 is incredibly insidious when combined with...
4.) it erased my printers and prevented me from installing a new printer.

5.) it prevented me from dragging, copying, or anyways moving files (like say to a DVD Burner to create a back up)

Let's apply these five problems (there were more, many many more) to Shock Tea. Could I print out the thirty pages I have written in the last month? No. Could I e-mail these pages to someone for safe keeping? No. Could I burn them to DVD? No. In other words, my files (all of them) were observable, but only on my computer which was itself dying.

So, let me offer a bit of advice. First of all CTRL+F11. On Dell's this will restore your computer to its "just out of the box" condition. That tid-bit cost me $49. But also, and more importantly, have six or seven programs for burning DVDs. I have five. One worked. Oh thank God, one worked. And special thanks to Lynn who offered to sit at her laptop and type in the pages from the various papers and the novel that I have been working on this Summer. I have the best wife in the world. Luckily, it did not come to that.

Recent commentary

I so rarely receive commentary that I now feel it necessary to comment on commentary made on other blogs. Let me just choose one at random and let's see how this works. Shall we...

Alright, the first comment probably worth mentioning is:
shut u[p!@!
I think we'll all agree that this is very postmodern. The statement can be read as "shut u," but the asterisk suggests also shut up, and the exclamation point suggests earnestness--the way that someone suggests that voices in one's head should shut up. The @ symbol supports this reading by implying that the exclamation point had to be pulled from somewhere else. Thus, for a full reading of the statement we have "shut up you" with the full understanding that the passion of the exclamation of the point has to be outsourcing from some other passion. Is there a psychiatrist in the house?

Next u[p:
shut up -love cold stone
Ahhh... a correction. Evidently, I was wrong about the earlier comment. The commenter simply didn't know how to type.
What's interesting about this comment is the by-line. It's from cold stone. Does your employer, one wonders, know that you're harassing your ex-boss.

Next: bvitcuh
Hmm.. what is that, Roman? Oh wait no. You were trying to spell out bitch. While your attempt to add extra syllables to your habitual single syllable vocabulary is, of course, admirable, one word of advice: Learn to speak English. Also, insults are always more convincing when they are supported. For instance, "You are a bitch because you fired me for stealing." See how much better that is?

Next: YOU CAN'T HAVE a weekly drink. you're fucking preganat
Alright, here I have to ask. What were you thinking. Capitalize the words you want to stress. It should be "YOU can't have a weekly DRINK, you're fucking PREGNANT." See those are the words you want to stress. Also, what the fuck is "preganat." Phonics? Spell check? Something. Seriously. One last point for consideration, pregnant women can have a weekly drink. It's only when they're tossing back a whole bunch in one day that there is a risk that the baby will end up with brain damage similar to your own.

Next: bitcqh, afi sucks.
Afi? Oh, AFI. Finally, a comment on the actual blog. I applaud your liberal spelling of the word bitch. It shows ingenuity, the kind that really wins over parole boards.

Finally: your vaginas worth a loooooook!@!!!
Here again, the borrowed exclamation point. Aside from that, are we to understand that you enjoy looking at pregnant women's vaginas? Finally we understand all the typing errors: you're doing it with one hand. Also, what's the problem with the word pussy? Too much guess work on the number of S's. Oh wait, I see. You're writing this anonymously. Saying pussy is a little too close to self-criticism.