Whudda W.A.S.T.E.

"Tell them I said something important. You're supposed to say something important when you die." Last Words of Poncho Villa

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Name: Monstro
Location: Northampton, Massachusetts, US

"Behind the intials was a metaphor, a delirium tremens, a trembling unfurrowing of the mind's plowshare. The saint whose water can light lamps, the clairovoyant whose lapse in recall is the breath of God, the true paranoid for whom all is organized in spheres joyful or threatening about the central pulse of himself, the dreamer whose puns probe ancient fetid shafts and tunnels of truth all act in the same special relevance to the word, or whatever it is the word is there, buffering, to protect us from." Pynchon, The Crying of Lot 49

Monday, February 21, 2005

In the beginning...

Avram brings up an interesting point. I have long postulated that religion and science were first engineered by a sub-human race's version of a symposium. Our monkey-ish ancestors staring up at the moon were of two opinions about said rock. One professed that it was the face of God, and thus religion was started. The other assumed that it was a place where his descendents would one day walk, and thus science started. The mediator between the two monkey men began philosophy but that is beside the point.

The point is that, since that moment, our understandings of technology and science have always been at odds. Case in point, according to the Christian religion, God built the universe in six days. Now, the scientific thought rallies its skepticism on this precise point. It asks, how? Of course, Newton and Darwin come along and they say, "well, He didn't really build the entire universe in six days; he built the forces in six days which, once put into motion, would build the universe." Ahah!

But this answer has not been enough for some people. They have a holy text that says otherwise, and so, yet again, science has found itself at odds with religion. That is, up until now...

You see, the problem is the impossibility that anyone or anything could create the universe in six days. It would seem that no amount of technological, or rather scientific, explanation could prove pragmatic enough to account for this grand engineering endeavor. Even if we posit that said work was simply the manufacturing end, and that the planning phase of the project took much longer than six days, we are still left with a veritable impossibility as to how someone, or something, could construct the entire universe, all of its diversity, all of its magnitude, in six days. The answer is, of course, the dremel.

Forget nuclear fission, superstring theory, and quantum mechanics. We as a race have finally stumbled upon the great tool used by the divine to construct all of reality. It is the dremel--plus attachments, for we must assume that divine grace has access to all of the great assortment of Dremel add-ons.

I hope that with this new found information, science may finally reconcile with religion.