evidentally screwing the CIA is a bad thing...

Do we all remember good ol' Dubya blaming 9/11 on the intelligence community? Do we all remember the instigation of the Homeland Securtiy agency, and the justification that such a body was needed because basically the FBI and the CIA couldn't do their jobs?

And who would have thought that these agencies wouldn't just say, "hey yeah, I guess we are the ones who dropped the ball. I mean if the President say so, it must be true." I mean, couldn't they just play the fall guy so that the president didn't have to look like an idiot in this whole thing. If the president says, "they're fault," aren't they supposed to say, "my bad." I mean if we can't count on the CIA to be cute and fuzzy fall guys for the president's gross incompetence, then who can we count on? Well, evidentally, no one sent the roll-over-and-play-dead memo to the CIA because they aren't.

They have just released their report that says that Iraq did not have any of the things we claimed they had--that we claimed we needed to go to war with them because they had. The report also shows that Iraq doesn't have any ties to Al Quaeda. Ouch! I mean that's really got to hurt. What's more, through some coincidence, the report was finished and ready for release only a month before election. Can you imagine that? This horrible embarressment to Dubya is going to be fresh in people's minds on election day. That just sucks. It's almost like the CIA...oh, I don't know...planned it. But why in the world would they want to smeer the reputation of the president when he was so nice to them by including (or implicating) them in the whole 9/11 intelligence fiasco? Bad form, CIA. Haven't you guys heard the old adage: there is no bad publicity?

The moral of this story is, I suppose, do not fuck with the intelligence committee. Do not tell lies and hope that the CIA won't check up on your facts. That's what these people do. Also, there pretty good at ruining the reputation of a country's leadership.

I, for one, hope that this was just step one of a much larger plan. After all, I have a place in my heart for the CIA, NSA, and FBI. Call me a romantic, but I just love a good spy story. And besides, at this point in our country's dismal economic situation, it's good to see our tax dollars at work.

Christian Charity, smoke, the fires of hell, etc.

Warning: DO NOT READ THIS AT ANY TIME BEFORE, AFTER, OR DURING A MEAL!!!

Well, I feel that I am in the right frame of mind finally to adress a question so often put to me. As a pack a day smoker, people are inclined to seek out my opinion on the cigarette tax (that's a lie, no one cares about smokers and their problems because smokers are pariahs).

Having just paid $6 for a product that should cost $2 and that will most likely kill me, I'd like to address this issue. And the issue is this, do I feel that those who profit $4 from every pack of cigarettes are morally reprehensible (for those of you doing the math, that's $1460 in taxes from me alone per year)?

The answer: no. You see I am a Christian, and as a Christian I believe in forgiveness. So, I forgive them.

Also, as a Christian, I believe in Hell. I like to think of Hell as having a good deal of Dante in it so that the punishment matches up thematically with the sin. So, what sort of Hell do I imagine for those who feed off of my death.

Well, I imagine a great field of corpses, and as these bastards have fed on the dead and dying in life, so must they do so in death--for all eternity. Of course, big tobacco being the closest to the source will get the rights to the freshest of the dead. The politicians who have profitted most, but only in a roundabout way from the deaths of all of us smokers, will, in Hell, only get the leavings: the gnawed upon, those skins turned slimey and black by decay. Oh, to be sure, not every corpse will be a loved one. Some will be total strangers, and therefore, easier to swallow I'd imagine.

But I hold no grudge against these people, and feel inclined to forgive them their trespasses. Not as inclined as I might feel if I could detect in them some--any--strain of virtue, but still.