You're f'ing with my high
The other day I was in CVS picking up various prescriptions for my family. There were two people in line in front of me: a guy in the very front who was trying very hard to get his medication without anyone seeing what it was, and a woman standing directly behind him who was so close that everytime the man leaned backwards he risked bumping into her. She was reading a magazine about Brad Pitt or something like that. She wasn't particularly paying attention, she just wasn't giving him any room.
...and I thought, "what the hell is wrong with her." It was then that I realized that she was standing in line at a pharmacy. There could very well have been something wrong with her. This was an important moment because, you see, she was acting in a way that I normally associate with mass-hole-dum. So, the prospect that her attitude and behavior were related to say, the medication she was taken for her personality problems, made me deeply concerned. What if being an asshole was a reaction to medication?
So, she stepped up to the counter. She didn't bother putting her magazine down. She just kept reading as if she couldn't be bothered with human interaction as she gave her name and address. I figured I was out of luck because it just wasn't likely that the tech was going to say, "here's your medicine for your impacted genital wart." They're trained not to say such things even though, realistically, I bet it's a real temptation.
But, thankfully, the woman in front of me had no such reservations. "Now, how many more refills do I have for the Prozac?"
Yes!
One out of every four adults is on Prozac or similar medication. Prozac keeps people from being self conscious. Self consciousness is what stops you from sounding like an asshole on a regular basis. No self consciousness means that you're an asshole. Bingo bango bongo. Done. One out of every four people.
Now, keep in mind. This doesn't include the vast populations of people on pain killers like Vicadin or Oxycontin, or the countless number of our nation's young people who are taking medication for AdHd or Autism. Add it all up and you know what I think...I think you probably get a ration of about one in three, maybe more. That means that one in every three people you meet is totally high.
Does this, I ask, not explain everything?
...and I thought, "what the hell is wrong with her." It was then that I realized that she was standing in line at a pharmacy. There could very well have been something wrong with her. This was an important moment because, you see, she was acting in a way that I normally associate with mass-hole-dum. So, the prospect that her attitude and behavior were related to say, the medication she was taken for her personality problems, made me deeply concerned. What if being an asshole was a reaction to medication?
So, she stepped up to the counter. She didn't bother putting her magazine down. She just kept reading as if she couldn't be bothered with human interaction as she gave her name and address. I figured I was out of luck because it just wasn't likely that the tech was going to say, "here's your medicine for your impacted genital wart." They're trained not to say such things even though, realistically, I bet it's a real temptation.
But, thankfully, the woman in front of me had no such reservations. "Now, how many more refills do I have for the Prozac?"
Yes!
One out of every four adults is on Prozac or similar medication. Prozac keeps people from being self conscious. Self consciousness is what stops you from sounding like an asshole on a regular basis. No self consciousness means that you're an asshole. Bingo bango bongo. Done. One out of every four people.
Now, keep in mind. This doesn't include the vast populations of people on pain killers like Vicadin or Oxycontin, or the countless number of our nation's young people who are taking medication for AdHd or Autism. Add it all up and you know what I think...I think you probably get a ration of about one in three, maybe more. That means that one in every three people you meet is totally high.
Does this, I ask, not explain everything?
posted by Monstro D. Whale at
7:10 AM
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