Response to the damned republican emails
I'm tired of republicans. I'm really wondering whether democracy even works. I mean if the majority of people are this stupid how the hell is the government supposed to survive. I've gotten emails about how Barack Obama's brother is a warlord in Kenya, how he's a terrorist, how he's a muslim and an arab (why not just say he's black, isn't that racist enough). I'm waiting for the email that says Obama is an alien or something.
Meanwhile, as far as the republicans are concerned, neither the war nor nor the economy is the Republican's fault. Jesus, how fucking spineless can you get? How about this, scrotum up and take responsibility for what YOU'VE done? I didn't f'ing vote for Bush, some of you morons voted for him twice. Believe me, had I my way, taking away your voting rights would be the least of the punishments. But I digress about chemical sterilization.
The Republican party is the political equivalent of the OJ jury....no, the original one with Ito. Remember how fucking stupid they seemed, how we wondered how they could have been watching the same trial we were watching, yeah...that's you. Where have you all been for the last 8 years? Do you know that in Abu Ghraib they were shoving flashlights up prisoners assholes? Not making this up. I'm researching it for my dissertation so I didn't pull this off some forward. That's what our government, under Republican leadership, has been doing. Oh yeah, and waterboarding.
Seriously, I've been baffled as to what to do. If it were just a bunch of people who were republican I'd say export them to Iraq. Simple. Effective. And hell, they want to fight in Iraq anyways, they just want someone else to do it for them (again, just totally spineless). The problem is that these people are all baby boomers--they're my parents and aunts and older friends, and generally in life, they aren't bad people, they're just kind of gullible, unwilling to take responsibility for their fuck ups, and, well, a tad bit racist (why else would they believe all these lies). My general thought is that if the Republicans want to treat this country like its a third world dictatorship, they ought to get treated by the people the way the party of the ousted despot gets treated (see the dirty wars in Argentina or Dafur), but we can't hook up car batteries in our basements to our parents in order to save our country. We're not monsters. We don't scream "off with they're heads" at rallies or anything.
But something needs to be done. Our country is run by criminals--and not just your common variety corrupt politicians. Our phones are tapped, our tax dollars are supporting secret prisons, our country is arresting people and holding them without charges indefinitely, our government is buying out banks (which is by the way the textbook definition of socialism) and granting full pardon to those who conspire to destroy our nation's economy. Look at gas prices, do you mean to honestly tell me that gas, which was at around $4 a gallon, just naturally dropped down to $3 a few months later. Wow, that seems to be more of a product of how much people can pay for it: we're in a depression and the price of gas drops. Why isn't anyone being prosecuted for price gouging there? These companies record record profits; is it really that hard to find evidence. Why aren't people going to prison for the whole subprime thing? Your government, with a republican at the helm, has let all of this slide, just like Reagan let the Savings and Loan scandal thing slide with McCain as one of the Keating five. Christ, he should have gone to prison back then.
So, here's my solution. Next email I get from a Republican, I'm going to forward it to the secret service. I know. I know. Isn't that a bit Nineteen Eighty-Four. Why, yes it is. Welcome to the America the Republicans built. I think the secret service aught to be informed about the enemies of the future president, don't you? I mean, that way they'll have a list if they ever need to know who the enemies of the state are. What will they do with such a list? Probably nothing, I'm sure. Tax audits would be funny though. Republicans forward your crazy Obama shit to me at your peril.
As for my own part, Republicans, let's face it: you're old. You either need help, or you will need it soon. Let me ask you something. Seriously, if a depression hits, as it is right now because of your coke-head boy W. and don't think W2 will be any different, and I have to choose between supporting a bunch of sodden assholes who destroyed the planet or feeding my kids, do you really think that I, or anyone else like me, will choose you? Seriously, read this blog again: does it really sound like I have the compassion in my heart that would cause me to support you at all. I think you're idiots who aught to be fed the same shit sandwich that you're trying to sell to me. I will watch out for my own, I suppose, but the rest of you baby boomer republicans are kind of fucked, to put it bluntly. No offense, I just only have so much money what with the economic collapse and all. Maybe, you should think about that when you're railing against public support.
Meanwhile, as far as the republicans are concerned, neither the war nor nor the economy is the Republican's fault. Jesus, how fucking spineless can you get? How about this, scrotum up and take responsibility for what YOU'VE done? I didn't f'ing vote for Bush, some of you morons voted for him twice. Believe me, had I my way, taking away your voting rights would be the least of the punishments. But I digress about chemical sterilization.
The Republican party is the political equivalent of the OJ jury....no, the original one with Ito. Remember how fucking stupid they seemed, how we wondered how they could have been watching the same trial we were watching, yeah...that's you. Where have you all been for the last 8 years? Do you know that in Abu Ghraib they were shoving flashlights up prisoners assholes? Not making this up. I'm researching it for my dissertation so I didn't pull this off some forward. That's what our government, under Republican leadership, has been doing. Oh yeah, and waterboarding.
Seriously, I've been baffled as to what to do. If it were just a bunch of people who were republican I'd say export them to Iraq. Simple. Effective. And hell, they want to fight in Iraq anyways, they just want someone else to do it for them (again, just totally spineless). The problem is that these people are all baby boomers--they're my parents and aunts and older friends, and generally in life, they aren't bad people, they're just kind of gullible, unwilling to take responsibility for their fuck ups, and, well, a tad bit racist (why else would they believe all these lies). My general thought is that if the Republicans want to treat this country like its a third world dictatorship, they ought to get treated by the people the way the party of the ousted despot gets treated (see the dirty wars in Argentina or Dafur), but we can't hook up car batteries in our basements to our parents in order to save our country. We're not monsters. We don't scream "off with they're heads" at rallies or anything.
But something needs to be done. Our country is run by criminals--and not just your common variety corrupt politicians. Our phones are tapped, our tax dollars are supporting secret prisons, our country is arresting people and holding them without charges indefinitely, our government is buying out banks (which is by the way the textbook definition of socialism) and granting full pardon to those who conspire to destroy our nation's economy. Look at gas prices, do you mean to honestly tell me that gas, which was at around $4 a gallon, just naturally dropped down to $3 a few months later. Wow, that seems to be more of a product of how much people can pay for it: we're in a depression and the price of gas drops. Why isn't anyone being prosecuted for price gouging there? These companies record record profits; is it really that hard to find evidence. Why aren't people going to prison for the whole subprime thing? Your government, with a republican at the helm, has let all of this slide, just like Reagan let the Savings and Loan scandal thing slide with McCain as one of the Keating five. Christ, he should have gone to prison back then.
So, here's my solution. Next email I get from a Republican, I'm going to forward it to the secret service. I know. I know. Isn't that a bit Nineteen Eighty-Four. Why, yes it is. Welcome to the America the Republicans built. I think the secret service aught to be informed about the enemies of the future president, don't you? I mean, that way they'll have a list if they ever need to know who the enemies of the state are. What will they do with such a list? Probably nothing, I'm sure. Tax audits would be funny though. Republicans forward your crazy Obama shit to me at your peril.
As for my own part, Republicans, let's face it: you're old. You either need help, or you will need it soon. Let me ask you something. Seriously, if a depression hits, as it is right now because of your coke-head boy W. and don't think W2 will be any different, and I have to choose between supporting a bunch of sodden assholes who destroyed the planet or feeding my kids, do you really think that I, or anyone else like me, will choose you? Seriously, read this blog again: does it really sound like I have the compassion in my heart that would cause me to support you at all. I think you're idiots who aught to be fed the same shit sandwich that you're trying to sell to me. I will watch out for my own, I suppose, but the rest of you baby boomer republicans are kind of fucked, to put it bluntly. No offense, I just only have so much money what with the economic collapse and all. Maybe, you should think about that when you're railing against public support.
posted by Monstro D. Whale at
6:39 AM
3 Comments:
About time... I was waiting for the political commentary to show up.
Ahh... socialistic bailouts for the rich (scratch my back etc.) and a pittance ($300 or so) to keep the poor quiet.
I think the boomers are worried, because they see everything collapsing around them, including their retirement savings.
Bad news for those of us who are trying to find a good job freshly vacated by a boomer. They'll be holding onto their jobs much longer in this kind of economy. Which means less good paying jobs for the next couple of generations of workers. Who, according to the boomers, have no work ethic anyhow.
Yes! Well spoken, Monstro.
Roxy Katt
Pornographer and Cultural Bolshevik
You should have seen 60 Minutes about the loans things that were going on. It was basically gambling that was made illegal when the New Deal was made, and legalized again not too long ago ('90's, was it?). Get a copy of the freaking tape of that episode of 60 minutes. It will, and should, blow the socks off of your students.
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