Thursday, January 17, 2008

In need of an IT Support group

So, tech support. What happenned?

Here's what happenned. Way back in say 1998 or so, everybody and their mother (well brother, it was pretty much a sausage party) was going to school to become a computer programmer. It was sort of like now with majors in business management except that they actually learned something. In any case, there they were a veritable army of computer programmers, IT people, network designers and software engineers. Ah...the future.

And then, the next week, the industry went belly up and now these people work customer service at StubHub (Hi Chris!). I know one guy who'se still in the field, and that's because he can program in Fortran. Another buddy of mine is using his Pixar level skills at computer graphics to make commercials for local access. I'm surprised no one has done a study on the lost dreams of America over the last 10 years as the people who've told us what to take as a major have been wrong over and over again. Can you imagine the poor bastards out there with accounting degrees now that Quicken is used by everyone?

So, they've gone. But they're not forgotten. The grand and impressive computer empire still stands like a tomb city. Seriously, it's like something you'd expect to see frozen in ice on the bottom of the ocean left by some race that has suffered some unknown disaster. I like the metaphor. It's Lovecraftian and really captures the nature of the disaster when something goes wrong. But I think a more apt description is that our abandoned city of computer technology is lost somewhere out there in the jungles, like the palace of King Louie in Jungle Book, because, and this is important, the fucking apes have taken over.

Yes, we now have networks that can broadcast the internet all over the freeworld. Yes, you can walk out into the forest, never to be heard from again, and still download porn. Oh sure, you can now do everything from the glory of your cubicle, order everything off the internet and have it shipped directly to your house. Hell, just today I learned they have programs that can tell me what my chances are of getting prostate cancer for $300, but when the shit breaks down, where is that army of computer people that we trained not but a decade ago.

And when it breaks down, and when you have to deal with what stands in for the IT guy who now manages a Blockbuster, the full revelation hits home of what the term "future primitive" means.

Case in point, I'm running an online class next semester and I'm trying to set it up. The problem is that I can't get a PASSWORD to work. That's right, their site isn't accepting my password. The solutions suggested to me (and my mental responses) were:
  • Clear Browsing history. (Dude, it's not filling in the password for me. WRONG)
  • What version of IE are you running (Are you kidding me? Your site is incompatible with varying levels of Internet Explorer. Kind of industry standard.)
  • Are you on a wireless router (incompetance always suggests that maybe it's your router. Hey, maybe it's my footwear. Wait, is this Thursday?!? Dipshit)
  • Close out of Explorer and restart your computer. (You really think that the problem is an f'ing registry change. Dude, you're a website. You're not Bioshock. you didn't change my registry, and oh, by the way, I have like 50 anti-virus programs keeping my registry from being changed)

Finally, the guy settled in on a solution to the problem that seemed relatively feasible. "I could just reset your password." What? D'ya think? Yeah, maybe the problem isn't the guts of my computer, a hardware incompatiblilty or some glitch in Internet Explorer. Yeah, maybe the problem is that your rinky dink operation managed to erase my password down there off the database. Hmmm....is that possible that the whole world ISN'T broken and that the nimrod on the phone is indicative of greater IT problems down at continuing ed on-line.

Bring them back. Find the appropriate headhunters and cull those lost IT souls who are now doing customer service, telemarketing, or stuck in low level government jobs. We NEED you. I'm on the brink of something here. Something is being pushed too far. I'm warning you all, I will not wait ten seconds and restart my computer again!

2 Comments:

Blogger Mopfog said...

They all got English degrees. XD

11:23 PM  
Blogger Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

I almost majored in IT, but opted for English. Also almost went in for accounting, but my advisor said accounting would be too boring for me.

BTW, accounting is red-hot again, thanks to Sarbanes-Oxley. Around here, pretty much any grad with a 3.0 or better is coming out of school and starting off at $40k, which ain't bad for Pittsburgh.

11:58 AM  

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