Winning the war on drugs
I've decided something. I've decide that the reason that people shouldn't do drugs like crack or methamphetamine or heroin is not because these drugs are dangerous. That's true, but that's not it.
The reason that people shouldn't do these drugs is because they are de classe. They are outmoded, low class, they're like those shorts that people used to wear in the late 70s where there was always a danger of nut out.
The reason for this is that with even a half brained excuse and mediocre health insurance, you can get as much oxicontin as you'd like, and if that's not hardcore enough for you, just wash it down with booze.
You see, it's not that junkies are lazy. They are willing to call their dealers every fifteen minutes until their supply comes in, and that, I think we'd all agree, represents dilligence and a kind of strength of character.
The oxicontin user is relatively lazy by comparison. They just go to the doctor, who is always there, and thanks to drug subsidiary kickbacks, will always deliver.
Also, it isn't that junkies are amoral. Sure, junkies will rob and/or kill you for the money to buy their stuff, but they choose their targets and only rob/kill old people when no one else is available. Most oxicontin users (if they run out before they can get their next refill) prey exclusively on the elderly who, because of our country's attitude towards drug addiction are often stoned to the gills and can't really notice their grandchildren dipping into their supplies of synthetic opium and corporate sponsored methamphetamine.
No, the problem with the junkie is that he/she has chosen a drug addicted lifestyle that is not corporately funded and/or recommended by the surgeon general. I say, stop the needle exchange programs and get these people on oxicontin. That way we can solve this country's drug problem in one fell swoop.
The reason that people shouldn't do these drugs is because they are de classe. They are outmoded, low class, they're like those shorts that people used to wear in the late 70s where there was always a danger of nut out.
The reason for this is that with even a half brained excuse and mediocre health insurance, you can get as much oxicontin as you'd like, and if that's not hardcore enough for you, just wash it down with booze.
You see, it's not that junkies are lazy. They are willing to call their dealers every fifteen minutes until their supply comes in, and that, I think we'd all agree, represents dilligence and a kind of strength of character.
The oxicontin user is relatively lazy by comparison. They just go to the doctor, who is always there, and thanks to drug subsidiary kickbacks, will always deliver.
Also, it isn't that junkies are amoral. Sure, junkies will rob and/or kill you for the money to buy their stuff, but they choose their targets and only rob/kill old people when no one else is available. Most oxicontin users (if they run out before they can get their next refill) prey exclusively on the elderly who, because of our country's attitude towards drug addiction are often stoned to the gills and can't really notice their grandchildren dipping into their supplies of synthetic opium and corporate sponsored methamphetamine.
No, the problem with the junkie is that he/she has chosen a drug addicted lifestyle that is not corporately funded and/or recommended by the surgeon general. I say, stop the needle exchange programs and get these people on oxicontin. That way we can solve this country's drug problem in one fell swoop.
posted by Monstro D. Whale at
10:55 AM
3 Comments:
LOL...nut out
Actually, heroin is supposed to be pretty good. There's this one movie (I forgot the name) where this guy has only weeks to live from some aggressive cancer. The morphine isn't doing the trick, so his kid goes out a scores some H and hires a druggie girl to show her dad how to shoot up. Turns out the H is was more powerful than the morphine, so the guy spends his last days considerably more pain-free than he would have. I guess the message was that we should legalize heroin, or start letting terminally ill people use it.
I've got a cousin who was arrested at a Grateful Dead concert for selling his dad's Oxy. Nice kid, eh? Stealing your own dad's cancer meds... His dad left him a $1m trust fund, of course.
(On a side note, I'm still at least 75 pp. behind the Chums! Damn, I have to get my ass reading again. Plus, you have to add in that Pynchon factor, you know? 75 Pynchon pages = about 400 mainstream fiction pages, maybe more. I better catch up before it's my turn to moderate again in a few weeks.)
That's what got me going too. The story comes about because recently I found out that two people operating in the same circle of people as those we know, are on oxicontin. Now, I realize that there are legitimate problems out there, but holy shit...how many people need to be on synthetic morphine at one time. Another of our friends had the stuff for a pain that no one could diagnose. The doctors didn't even know if it was real and they still gave her oxicontin.
I started thinking that America was getting more stupid a while back then I realized, it's probably because they're stoned.
In any case, I wouldn't sweat the Pynchonics. Whether or not you know it, he hits you with the same thing over and over again in different voices. Just read it fast and then check the Chumps and see what they have to say. The character's are shoring up, so that's nice.
What we are running in to is a problem that exists in politics. Call it the political dichotomy if you will. Everything has to be black or white, left or right, right or wrong. This is the height of ignorance, supported by our leadership.
Who gets to decide how the dichotomy is set up? People with the money to support their political interests. Special interest groups that are allowed to exist in our capital. Special interest groups should be banned. They are essentially circumventing the process of democracy by bribing their beliefs into power.
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