Me...standing on a desk

I think my students are under the impression that there is very little keeping me from verbally berating them for not being able to answer questions concerning the broader implications of the Hegelian Dialectic. I am, to them, an animal chained to the wall, and they get a bit nervous when I segue into a lecture by saying things like, "what are these illusory forces that we collectively call society, and why must we, like slaves, obey?" It means I'm one step closer to becoming a drooling monstrosity of cultural theory which I think they should have learned in 9th grade and which they could probably earn a graduate degree without learning. They imagine me standing on their desk incredulously weeping in a sort of hysterical psychotic manner about the fact that they haven't read Paradise Lost--that their admission is something akin to the fall of western civilization.

Which it is.

The thing is though, I see myself less as a critic of their ignorance and more of a trial run. Some day they will enter the world and there will not be someone to stammer astonishingly at their ignorance. Instead, they will silently and without much consideration be set on a path to failure because someone in a position of authority will have not been impressed by their wit. If I am more frightening, it is only because I am less subtle. In reality, I'm probably harmless.

Probably.