Darwin seen fleeing the scene

Every so often there's a bit of rather trivial news that somehow commands our attention and today that news is the death of Steve Irwin. Why? Well, if I may hazard a guess it is because we've all seen him do...well, crazy/stupid things with animals that will kill you. That's what was so entertaining about Irwin. I do not need to recount the millions of jokes that standup comedians have told over the years, we all know them, and we all know that Irwin shouldn't have been doing that. The words "trained professional" only go so far. It's like that movie Grizzly Man. Yeah, the guy meant well--there's no denying that--but bears will frickin' eat you.

Part of my confusion about Irwin is that there is anything to discuss at all, and as I have these discussions with people, I am inclined that there really is nothing to say about the death. Conversation topics run from "did he die from the poison in his heart or was it the fact that his heart had been cleaved in twain?" And also, of course, "I didn't know a stingray could do that."

But beyond that, what is there really to discuss? One viewing of any episode of crocadile hunter could have told you that this guy was going to die at the hands of some grizzly beast. It was just a matter of time. The only person who didn't seem to know was his wife, and I think it's just because watching your husband wrestle a giant squid or something like that is a hell of an aphrodesiac and a hell of a distraction. I'm sure that in their household the idea of getting your arm locked under the jawbone of a full grown male lion out in the wild was discussed in the same everyday manner as my wife and I discuss oil changes. What I guess I'm saying is I feel bad for his widow, but that doesn't make what happenned any less surprising.

But ultimately, I think the most important thing to say about Steve Irwin is the role he played in conservation. He promoted this ideal even among the big scary animals that most people, in their environmental ignorance, would probably rather just kill off. He was a conservationist of the highest caliber. The kind of guy who isn't out to save baby seals but rather wild boars and crap like that.

Therein, however, lies the paradox. As he made the plight of these animals more sentimental, he also made them seem less dangerous...if not to his audience than at least to himself, though I think to his audience as well. Jumping into a pit with crocodiles to me seems like certain death unless you are wearing armor or Batman has sprayed you with croc repellent or some shit like that. Otherwise, dead.

Irwin basically showed the world that this was not true, that one could grabe the black Mamba by the tail and swing it around a bit. That the great white shark is not but a playful guppy. That wild dogs, too, like to have their bellies rubbed. I remember not long ago my father leaving our car at Estes Park to take pictures, close up, of giant Elks banging their antlers together during a mating thing. It's that kind of stupid act that Irwin promoted, whether he knew it or not. Now, I can't blame Irwin for my dad's...ahem...slip of the mind (which thankfully went off without his being mauled) but if Irwin's death does anything it proves that these animals need our protection, and also, that we should stay the fuck away from them.