Mass hole moment
Alright, within the last hour I have already encountered the very things I've been talking about. First of all, I'm on the Calvin Coolidge bridge crossing the Connecticutt river and there's a car stopped on the left hand side with a cop right behind him. Of course, the cop hasn't put up any flairs because he doesn't know the procedure here, so the entire left hand lane is forced to merge over at the last possible moment. Anyways, I get over and I look behind me and there's this letter red car trying to get over except that there's this chick on one of those hands free cell phones in a fucking f150 (the f is for fucking unecessary) and she's not going to let him in. He honks and flips her off. Now she's right behind me.
Okay, now I get over again because I have to make a left turn in the next 200 yards, and the chick in the f150 decides to take advantage of my slowing down because of the heavy traffic to swerve around and pull in right in front of me. I honk and flip her off. She is, of course, unable to process the world outside her truck because she's devolved past chimp intelligence and then we get on the freeway and she speeds off.
Is this, you may ask, a demonstration of Massachusett's driving. Well, technically no. I've seen worse pulled by Massholes, but this person was not a Massachusetts driver. She was from Connecticutt which along with New York produces the worst fucking drivers on the face of the planet. I don't even think what they do should be called driving--masturbating with a wheel in front of you with a good chance of killing Monstro and his family, except...you know...that's kind of a mouthful.
However, the real Masshole moment happened when I got home. Okay, so me and the wife get out of the car we go upstairs, I see that the trash is full and so I go to take it out. While downstairs, the mailman delivers my mail. I say hi, and then a car honks his horn and the mailman and I look up to see some guy driving by and flipping us off. Who is he, I don't know. I seriously don't. Maybe I've seen the guy before, maybe not. In any case, he's pissed and he's flipping off either me, who just recently came downstairs, or the mailman, who's walking. That's what living in Massachusetts is like. People are fucking crazy.
Then all of a sudden it occurs to me, people constantly drive by our house honking. I don't know why. I just thought that the retards were out in force, but who knows. I mean, doesn't it make you wonder, does this guy drive by my house honking all the goddamned time, and if so, shouldn't he be in therapy?
Okay, now I get over again because I have to make a left turn in the next 200 yards, and the chick in the f150 decides to take advantage of my slowing down because of the heavy traffic to swerve around and pull in right in front of me. I honk and flip her off. She is, of course, unable to process the world outside her truck because she's devolved past chimp intelligence and then we get on the freeway and she speeds off.
Is this, you may ask, a demonstration of Massachusett's driving. Well, technically no. I've seen worse pulled by Massholes, but this person was not a Massachusetts driver. She was from Connecticutt which along with New York produces the worst fucking drivers on the face of the planet. I don't even think what they do should be called driving--masturbating with a wheel in front of you with a good chance of killing Monstro and his family, except...you know...that's kind of a mouthful.
However, the real Masshole moment happened when I got home. Okay, so me and the wife get out of the car we go upstairs, I see that the trash is full and so I go to take it out. While downstairs, the mailman delivers my mail. I say hi, and then a car honks his horn and the mailman and I look up to see some guy driving by and flipping us off. Who is he, I don't know. I seriously don't. Maybe I've seen the guy before, maybe not. In any case, he's pissed and he's flipping off either me, who just recently came downstairs, or the mailman, who's walking. That's what living in Massachusetts is like. People are fucking crazy.
Then all of a sudden it occurs to me, people constantly drive by our house honking. I don't know why. I just thought that the retards were out in force, but who knows. I mean, doesn't it make you wonder, does this guy drive by my house honking all the goddamned time, and if so, shouldn't he be in therapy?
posted by Monstro D. Whale at
2:45 PM
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