How to know when Republicans are up to no good
How to know when Republicans are up to no good:
Republican politicians are sneaky, vile, fuckers who would rather kill your children than pay their taxes, and who are supported by a slightly less dangerous group of morally ambivalent degenerates known commonly as Republican voters. Of the latter group, little can be done, but the former group has a weakness that any responsible American should know about.
Just after a Republican politician has done something he will attempt to dazzle the press by inventing a new phrase, like Weapons of Mass Destruction, War on Terror, or blank check. If you hear such a phrase being repeated by numerous disparate politicians with such frequency that it suggests coordination, chances are that a Republican has a fist up your ass trying to tear out your colon.
So, for instance, the phrase, "I don't think wartime conditions give the president a blank check," directly translates into "send the darkies to Iraq to die for my stock prices."
In other news, I believe you all remember that guy who tried to kill President Bush, yeah, well...he was sentenced to life prison today. What? You don't remember that guy? You never heard anything about any of this? Gee, you would think that an attempt on the life of the leader of the free fucking world would have made the news. It's almost like someone shit canned the story because it suggested that their people in other parts of the world who think our President is a frickin tyrant or something. Well, at least there's a new episode of Lost tonight...after the President's speech about how Democrats are traitors if they want to know the Alito's position on abortion. Ah, fascism!
Republican politicians are sneaky, vile, fuckers who would rather kill your children than pay their taxes, and who are supported by a slightly less dangerous group of morally ambivalent degenerates known commonly as Republican voters. Of the latter group, little can be done, but the former group has a weakness that any responsible American should know about.
Just after a Republican politician has done something he will attempt to dazzle the press by inventing a new phrase, like Weapons of Mass Destruction, War on Terror, or blank check. If you hear such a phrase being repeated by numerous disparate politicians with such frequency that it suggests coordination, chances are that a Republican has a fist up your ass trying to tear out your colon.
So, for instance, the phrase, "I don't think wartime conditions give the president a blank check," directly translates into "send the darkies to Iraq to die for my stock prices."
In other news, I believe you all remember that guy who tried to kill President Bush, yeah, well...he was sentenced to life prison today. What? You don't remember that guy? You never heard anything about any of this? Gee, you would think that an attempt on the life of the leader of the free fucking world would have made the news. It's almost like someone shit canned the story because it suggested that their people in other parts of the world who think our President is a frickin tyrant or something. Well, at least there's a new episode of Lost tonight...after the President's speech about how Democrats are traitors if they want to know the Alito's position on abortion. Ah, fascism!
posted by Monstro D. Whale at
3:19 PM
1 Comments:
I know how to tell when Republicans are up to no good ... They fall out of their mom's womb and the doctors uses the empty pages at the back of the Bible to clean them off. Hmmm... that's a little gross.
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