Mass-holes
I realize that I haven't bitched about people from Massachusetts for awhile.
The problem with this line of thought is that it just really isn't understandable unless you are around people from Massachusetts, and if you are, you don't need my commentary.
The other day, however, I thought of an exciting new analogy that I figured I'd share with you. It happened when two Mass-hole women nearly walked right over my nine month pregnant wife who was having trouble getting out of their way. This happens all the time. Mass-holes will simply walk at you. They may look at you, they may not., but if you don't get out of the way, you are likely to get run over.
This happens less to me because I am pretty rude about it now. I don't say excuse me anymore; I say, "can you please move." If I walk into a place and a bunch of Massachusetts people are standing around a cash register, not really forming a line, I will now ask loudly, "Is anyone here in line?" At which point they look at me like I'm asking them to change an old man's dirty diaper, but they do line up, and that's all I care about.
Anyways, the analogy. The subject of personal space to a Massachusettsian is unknown. Imagine going up to someone and asking them to spell bourgeoise. Now, you think to yourself, there is no way they're going to spell that correctly, and you can, and so that sort of defines the difference between you and their thoughts on the subject--but it doesn't. Now, they might not know how to spell the word, and that would represent a difference between you and they. A more sizable difference might be if they'd never heard the word before. And an even more sizable difference might be if they began to spell the word but in Cyrillic. But no, in this analogy we're talking about the people from Massachusetts: they look up at you and ask, "what's spell mean?"
The problem with this line of thought is that it just really isn't understandable unless you are around people from Massachusetts, and if you are, you don't need my commentary.
The other day, however, I thought of an exciting new analogy that I figured I'd share with you. It happened when two Mass-hole women nearly walked right over my nine month pregnant wife who was having trouble getting out of their way. This happens all the time. Mass-holes will simply walk at you. They may look at you, they may not., but if you don't get out of the way, you are likely to get run over.
This happens less to me because I am pretty rude about it now. I don't say excuse me anymore; I say, "can you please move." If I walk into a place and a bunch of Massachusetts people are standing around a cash register, not really forming a line, I will now ask loudly, "Is anyone here in line?" At which point they look at me like I'm asking them to change an old man's dirty diaper, but they do line up, and that's all I care about.
Anyways, the analogy. The subject of personal space to a Massachusettsian is unknown. Imagine going up to someone and asking them to spell bourgeoise. Now, you think to yourself, there is no way they're going to spell that correctly, and you can, and so that sort of defines the difference between you and their thoughts on the subject--but it doesn't. Now, they might not know how to spell the word, and that would represent a difference between you and they. A more sizable difference might be if they'd never heard the word before. And an even more sizable difference might be if they began to spell the word but in Cyrillic. But no, in this analogy we're talking about the people from Massachusetts: they look up at you and ask, "what's spell mean?"
posted by Monstro D. Whale at
10:52 AM
1 Comments:
Hi Monstro –
Today is my monthly delurking day, so now you know I’m here! lurking.
Be careful…. Don’t let the rudeness of others turn you into a Mass-hole too. “We become that which we hate.” Evidence can be seen in the staggering level of intolerance I have witnessed in my fellow “Liberals.”
I find your posts interesting…you should write more often.
Good luck with the baby!
-Nacho
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