There is an 'A' in Team
Let's face it. I am not the person who should be discussing at any length the A-Team. The Drivler and I went to New Orleans with the express purpose of putting to Marie Laveau the request of bringing that frightening foursome back on the air, so technically, if they come back I'm partly responsible, but really, it was Herr Drivler's idea. I was merely along for the ride (and to perform my duty of annoying him). Anyway, said duty accomplished, I am here to tell the tale, but really I'm like that Malcolm guy discussing what it is to be bad. I never was a sex pistol, and you all know it.
Furthermore, Jason has just finished writing and recording lyrics for the A-Team theme song, so seriously, I'm not the guy who should be doing this, but nonetheless, here I am. Jason hasn't written shit for weeks. I'm all you got.
So first of all, I want to answer the most common criticism of the show's... urhh... tactic--namely, the construction of the tank. Every episode, they construct a tank. "How many seasons of tank construction should the public be expected to endure," runs the common complaint.
Well look, I'm with you, but then again I'm not. You see every week I play a chaos army in Warhammer 40k, and every time I play my chaos army, I play the raptors. Why? I mean I have tons of chaos miniatures. I have all four greater demons. Innumerable lesser demons and something like 60 regular soldiers. Two obliterators, a defiler, a couple rhinos, a predator, noise marines, thousand sons, khorne berzerkers. The combinations by which I could make a choas army are such that I could play a hundred times and still never play the same army twice, and yet, every time, I play my raptors. Why?
I submit that the reason is the same as the reason that the A-Team always build a tank. They like Tanks. It's as simple as that. Moreover, it's not like they do badly with the tank. Why change tactics?
No, if you're going to criticize the A-Team, don't criticize the tank. Criticize the untold story. It's here that perhaps I have a better attitude towards A-Team criticism. The Drivler, in his love for B.A., Faceman, Howling Mad Murdock, and of course, Hannibal, is unlikely to go here, but I will.
How does the A-Team make their money? Every episode it's the same thing. Someone wants to hire the A-Team but they don't have enough money but the A-Team, out of the kindness of their hearts, take the mission anyway. Why? Because its the right thing to do. But they couldn't do this at all without ANY money. They must be getting their money from somewhere.
I submit that between the episodes, the missions that the public is allowed to see, the fab four are performing more monetarilly beneficial missions. Why don't we see those missions? Well, they are less than noble. What other reason would there be for not letting us see the A-Team earning the dough? Like Frank Zappa, every fourth mission or so is from the heart. The other three? Pure black ops stuff.
Someone had to say it. I'm sorry it had to be me.
Furthermore, Jason has just finished writing and recording lyrics for the A-Team theme song, so seriously, I'm not the guy who should be doing this, but nonetheless, here I am. Jason hasn't written shit for weeks. I'm all you got.
So first of all, I want to answer the most common criticism of the show's... urhh... tactic--namely, the construction of the tank. Every episode, they construct a tank. "How many seasons of tank construction should the public be expected to endure," runs the common complaint.
Well look, I'm with you, but then again I'm not. You see every week I play a chaos army in Warhammer 40k, and every time I play my chaos army, I play the raptors. Why? I mean I have tons of chaos miniatures. I have all four greater demons. Innumerable lesser demons and something like 60 regular soldiers. Two obliterators, a defiler, a couple rhinos, a predator, noise marines, thousand sons, khorne berzerkers. The combinations by which I could make a choas army are such that I could play a hundred times and still never play the same army twice, and yet, every time, I play my raptors. Why?
I submit that the reason is the same as the reason that the A-Team always build a tank. They like Tanks. It's as simple as that. Moreover, it's not like they do badly with the tank. Why change tactics?
No, if you're going to criticize the A-Team, don't criticize the tank. Criticize the untold story. It's here that perhaps I have a better attitude towards A-Team criticism. The Drivler, in his love for B.A., Faceman, Howling Mad Murdock, and of course, Hannibal, is unlikely to go here, but I will.
How does the A-Team make their money? Every episode it's the same thing. Someone wants to hire the A-Team but they don't have enough money but the A-Team, out of the kindness of their hearts, take the mission anyway. Why? Because its the right thing to do. But they couldn't do this at all without ANY money. They must be getting their money from somewhere.
I submit that between the episodes, the missions that the public is allowed to see, the fab four are performing more monetarilly beneficial missions. Why don't we see those missions? Well, they are less than noble. What other reason would there be for not letting us see the A-Team earning the dough? Like Frank Zappa, every fourth mission or so is from the heart. The other three? Pure black ops stuff.
Someone had to say it. I'm sorry it had to be me.
posted by Monstro D. Whale at
12:25 PM
1 Comments:
Some valid concerns here man, and as a self-confirmed fan of the program I feel I must respond.
First off, it just makes sense that if 4 guys, {and later a fifth female member} have to take on a larger group of the local bad guys, then they are not going to be able to do it unless they have something big on which ammo can be wasted. In Warhammer, four Terminators will die pretty quick in hand-to-hand. They just aren't enough. But a group of Firedrakes in a damn Falcon will kick ass every time.
Think about what they have to work with too -- four guys and a black van. They don't exactly live life high on the hog. Yes, Face had that fancy Corvette for awhile, but he lost that eventually. They probably live as simply as they can off of the occasional pawning of some of B.A.'s jewelry and whatever Hannibal makes in bad movies whilst dressed up in the Godzilla monster suit.
The black ops stuff does make some sense, but you forget the golden rule of Superheros -- that any group of superheros gets a status not unlike churches. They get major government subsidies, and like the Justice League, The Tick, Upright Citizens Brigade, and the Harlem Globetrotters everything off camera probably just comes off as the sort of close quarter banality seen on shows like "Big Brother" and "Let's Watch Bob Villa Microwave Burritos in his One Bedroom Apartment and watch Cable TV."
Who really wants to watch Murdock yell and scream for forty minutes while he attempts to find an inconspicuous place to park a glossy black van with bright red stripes and spoilers?
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