Recent commentary
I so rarely receive commentary that I now feel it necessary to comment on commentary made on other blogs. Let me just choose one at random and let's see how this works. Shall we...
Alright, the first comment probably worth mentioning is:
shut u[p!@!
I think we'll all agree that this is very postmodern. The statement can be read as "shut u," but the asterisk suggests also shut up, and the exclamation point suggests earnestness--the way that someone suggests that voices in one's head should shut up. The @ symbol supports this reading by implying that the exclamation point had to be pulled from somewhere else. Thus, for a full reading of the statement we have "shut up you" with the full understanding that the passion of the exclamation of the point has to be outsourcing from some other passion. Is there a psychiatrist in the house?
Next u[p:
shut up -love cold stone
Ahhh... a correction. Evidently, I was wrong about the earlier comment. The commenter simply didn't know how to type.
What's interesting about this comment is the by-line. It's from cold stone. Does your employer, one wonders, know that you're harassing your ex-boss.
Next: bvitcuh
Hmm.. what is that, Roman? Oh wait no. You were trying to spell out bitch. While your attempt to add extra syllables to your habitual single syllable vocabulary is, of course, admirable, one word of advice: Learn to speak English. Also, insults are always more convincing when they are supported. For instance, "You are a bitch because you fired me for stealing." See how much better that is?
Next: YOU CAN'T HAVE a weekly drink. you're fucking preganat
Alright, here I have to ask. What were you thinking. Capitalize the words you want to stress. It should be "YOU can't have a weekly DRINK, you're fucking PREGNANT." See those are the words you want to stress. Also, what the fuck is "preganat." Phonics? Spell check? Something. Seriously. One last point for consideration, pregnant women can have a weekly drink. It's only when they're tossing back a whole bunch in one day that there is a risk that the baby will end up with brain damage similar to your own.
Next: bitcqh, afi sucks.
Afi? Oh, AFI. Finally, a comment on the actual blog. I applaud your liberal spelling of the word bitch. It shows ingenuity, the kind that really wins over parole boards.
Finally: your vaginas worth a loooooook!@!!!
Here again, the borrowed exclamation point. Aside from that, are we to understand that you enjoy looking at pregnant women's vaginas? Finally we understand all the typing errors: you're doing it with one hand. Also, what's the problem with the word pussy? Too much guess work on the number of S's. Oh wait, I see. You're writing this anonymously. Saying pussy is a little too close to self-criticism.
Alright, the first comment probably worth mentioning is:
shut u[p!@!
I think we'll all agree that this is very postmodern. The statement can be read as "shut u," but the asterisk suggests also shut up, and the exclamation point suggests earnestness--the way that someone suggests that voices in one's head should shut up. The @ symbol supports this reading by implying that the exclamation point had to be pulled from somewhere else. Thus, for a full reading of the statement we have "shut up you" with the full understanding that the passion of the exclamation of the point has to be outsourcing from some other passion. Is there a psychiatrist in the house?
Next u[p:
shut up -love cold stone
Ahhh... a correction. Evidently, I was wrong about the earlier comment. The commenter simply didn't know how to type.
What's interesting about this comment is the by-line. It's from cold stone. Does your employer, one wonders, know that you're harassing your ex-boss.
Next: bvitcuh
Hmm.. what is that, Roman? Oh wait no. You were trying to spell out bitch. While your attempt to add extra syllables to your habitual single syllable vocabulary is, of course, admirable, one word of advice: Learn to speak English. Also, insults are always more convincing when they are supported. For instance, "You are a bitch because you fired me for stealing." See how much better that is?
Next: YOU CAN'T HAVE a weekly drink. you're fucking preganat
Alright, here I have to ask. What were you thinking. Capitalize the words you want to stress. It should be "YOU can't have a weekly DRINK, you're fucking PREGNANT." See those are the words you want to stress. Also, what the fuck is "preganat." Phonics? Spell check? Something. Seriously. One last point for consideration, pregnant women can have a weekly drink. It's only when they're tossing back a whole bunch in one day that there is a risk that the baby will end up with brain damage similar to your own.
Next: bitcqh, afi sucks.
Afi? Oh, AFI. Finally, a comment on the actual blog. I applaud your liberal spelling of the word bitch. It shows ingenuity, the kind that really wins over parole boards.
Finally: your vaginas worth a loooooook!@!!!
Here again, the borrowed exclamation point. Aside from that, are we to understand that you enjoy looking at pregnant women's vaginas? Finally we understand all the typing errors: you're doing it with one hand. Also, what's the problem with the word pussy? Too much guess work on the number of S's. Oh wait, I see. You're writing this anonymously. Saying pussy is a little too close to self-criticism.
posted by Monstro D. Whale at
4:43 PM
4 Comments:
I am not am retarded, biyticvh!@!!!
Gee, I guess I'd complain about how I rarely get comments on my own blog, but based on the sub-Bibbonic or even non genius monkey-level responses you've been getting I'm certainly better off. It just goes to show that even if one of those million monkeys at a million computers does finally come up with the great american novel -- there's still gonna be 999,999 monkeys out there who can't spell "Bitch Cake" but who can identify the popular culture reference.
Way to go biyatch!!
I think that the author showed her usual high level of class by not responding to the comments. Then again, what do you say to the incurably stupid? You can write a fine post walking through the commentator's numerous stupidities (as you have done), but is there any guarantee that the mouth-breather will even understand it? I fear that to truly get through to this anonymous commentator, you would have to bring yourself down to his/her level. Since you are too noble a man to bend to this drivel (and I, as you know, am not), I will happily supply a translation for this subliterate interlocutor:
"Commentator, you a stupidd HO!"
"Bitch, you're empty brain pan is worth a loooooook!^%$%&*^!!!"
I love you guys.
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