Please enter... followed by the pound key
I have a question. I'm just going to throw this out there. If you're like me, you end up calling the people who send you bills way too often. For instance, I currently have a phone bill (which I've paid for six months) to a phone that is not mine. It was a mistake. So, now they have disconnected my phone and evidently credited my account. I have nearly $200 credit to an account which is no longer in operation. That means that when that account gets billed, I won't have to pay it until the total bill equals more than $200. Which it never will because the phone number doesn't exist. So, of course, I have to call the phone company to tell them to send me my money which they erroneously charged me and which they have not cut a check for. I actually have to call to tell them that crediting a closed account is not the same as giving me money. But hey...
So, here's the question. Why is it that no matter which automated service you dial, they ask you questions to speed up the process (please enter the account number, please enter your telephone number, etc.), and when you finally get someone live on the phone, they ask you the very same question? In other words, they do not receive the information you've JUST entered. What process does this speed up? Wouldn't you think that when you enter your account number, and the automated system patches you through to India, the person on the other end of the line, having just received the information you just gave, would have your account up already? Moreover, just curious, but why does no one ever know your account history? Why is it that if you have a problem, and someone claims to fix it (but doesn't), you can't just tell the person you talk to next that you're still having the same problem as before? Instead, you have to recite the history of their incompetency like Biblical patronymics? Can you tell that I'm on hold while writing this blog?
"Thank you for waiting. An AT and T representative will be with you as soon as possible. Please continue to hold. You will not be disconnected. Thank you for your patience."
So, here's the question. Why is it that no matter which automated service you dial, they ask you questions to speed up the process (please enter the account number, please enter your telephone number, etc.), and when you finally get someone live on the phone, they ask you the very same question? In other words, they do not receive the information you've JUST entered. What process does this speed up? Wouldn't you think that when you enter your account number, and the automated system patches you through to India, the person on the other end of the line, having just received the information you just gave, would have your account up already? Moreover, just curious, but why does no one ever know your account history? Why is it that if you have a problem, and someone claims to fix it (but doesn't), you can't just tell the person you talk to next that you're still having the same problem as before? Instead, you have to recite the history of their incompetency like Biblical patronymics? Can you tell that I'm on hold while writing this blog?
"Thank you for waiting. An AT and T representative will be with you as soon as possible. Please continue to hold. You will not be disconnected. Thank you for your patience."
posted by Monstro D. Whale at
2:28 PM
1 Comments:
My favorite: the Bank of America ATM machine on Franklin Street in Chapel Hill. It's slow as hell, but it's also the only B of A ATM in the area.
You put your card in and wait while a little progress bar fills. The screen says, "Please wait while we retrieve your account customizations." The next screen asks you to choose between English and Spanish language.
I ask you: how fucking customized is that? You've been to this ATM something like 150 times and they can't even "customize" your language preference? What the hell are they checking? To see if you are from the planet Earth?
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