Yankee Bitch

Amy wrote in to my blog announcing that her new super hero name is Yankee Bitch, and she was wondering whether it was okay if her superhero name included profanity.

Many people ask me about superhero names and so I figured I would chime in on this subject. The truth is that profanity is probably the least offensive part of a super hero's name. Take, for instance Black Vulcan who is clearly named after a vibrator. Do we have a problem with that? No. As long as there's a double meaning. You see, Black Vulcan is also black and electrical like the god of lightening Vulcan. Wait. Alright, but he is black. And with lightening squiggles for ears, he kind of looks like Spock.

The real question you have to ask yourself is what comic book universe you're going to be working in. I'll go with the two biggies. Now look, if you're in Marvel, your name must have something to do with your overall super-concept. You shoot lasers out your eyes, they call you Cyclops. You make ice, you're iceman. Your a big hulking figure, you're the hulk. You are Thor from Scandanavian myth, they call you Thor. The only addendum to this rule is that if you look weird, your name should represent your appearance and not your power. So, for instance, Nightcrawler's name has nothing to do with his having teleporty powers, but rather refers to his being a freak. Now, the marvel-esque universe covers a lot of other comic book styles as well. For instance, The Tick is crazy, so it's like he is a tick and he has nervous ticks. See how that works. Johny the Homicidal Maniac. What's his super hero concept? He's a homicidal maniac. All right, everybody's with me.

The thing about a marvel name is that it gives you all sorts of features to your superhero world. Take, for instance, Spider Man. Okay, he's a spider. He has eight legs. He's kind of creepy. So, who does he fight? Why, other eight legged guys (doctor octupus), and other creepy characters (the Hobgoblin). See how that works. Captain America has to fight some guy with Kremlin in his name. He has to. That's his job.

So, if your name is Yankee Bitch in a marvel-esque universe, then your powers have to revolve around bitching about Yankee problems. Perhaps you lull your enemies into a false confidence by complaining about the price of the turnpike, or maybe you defeat villains by going to their city and complaining about what passes for chowder there. Your name is regional, so your villains are regional as well: Southern Belle, California Girl, The Cheesehead, The Red State. Now this is all true in a marvel universe.

But in a DC universe, your name should have nothing to do with your powers. Superman, Wonderwoman, Batman. These are the epitome of DC naming techniques. Your villains are independent of your concept, except for one villain who will be the exact opposite of you and may be poorly drawn (a Bizzaro version of you, if you will). In a DC universe, the name Yankee Bitch is almost too specific and doesn't include a man or woman or girl. Yankee Bitch Woman might work, but regardless, it will be necessary that your powers have nothing to do with your name. Maybe you could make people's hair attack them. That's a pretty good power. And your arch enemy would make their fingernails attack them (but not their fingers obviously--it would be a very subtle power).

I hope this helps everyone out there.