Hey fatty fat fat fat
Never let it be said that this blog isn't fair.
So, I turned on my news on the internet this morning and they had a report that in Texas (where they grow 'em big), they are trying to pass legislation to include students' weights on their report card. In other words, they are going to get a grade in FAT. That's not an abbreviation, that's fat. No "PH".
Now, since this was the stupidest idea I've ever heard, I assumed that it was a republican bill, but no. NO! Democrat. People, there is no island of intelligence that we can wash up on. You've got your choice. You either vote "Stupid" or "Moron". That's it.
So, why is this the dumbest idea any one has ever come up with. Well, let's look at the reasoning behind it. These kids are evidently overweight. Too bad. There are so many overweight kids that it has become an epidemic. That sucks. Chances are that these kids will not outlive their parents. Dang. These kids will require your tax dollars to take care of their health needs and will probably cite obesity as the reason they cannot work (do I have the Republicans attention?) , taking money away from the social programs that feed the poor unfortunate non-English speakers escaping the hardships of their native land (...and now the democrats are on board).
Realistically, this is a huge problem, like smoking, but if we tax these kids for their pariah status we'd have to tax food, and since we all eat, we'd all have some problems (so can't do that). I mean really, unhealthy kids become unhealthy adults, and that's the long and the short of it. So, how do we solve this problem. Well, why are these kids obese?
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that these kids' problem is that they aren't eating right and they aren't getting enough exercise. So, how do we solve this problem? Oh, I don't know give them healthier food, force them to go exercise...NO DAMN WAY!
You see getting them to eat healthier food would be like, oh I don't know, forcing school lunch programs to make healthy food. Can't do that. Big money in feeding people crap. Feeding them nutritious meals would mean taking vending machines out of the school. Hey, those vending machines are paying for the band uniforms so that the school can compete in the upcoming "Parade Against Heart Disease." The long and the short of it is, in order to get these kids to eat right, we'd have to buy them food. We'd have to dump money into the school to make sure our kids aren't eating cholesterol ridden slop. Now, I know you all like your kids, but really, come on. Let's not forget who makes the money around here. The next thing they'll ask the parents to do is to pay for P.E. Classes. Oh! Hell NO! That's asking a lot from parents who have to be notified by mail of their child's weight.
I still get a crack out of that. "It says here Johnny that you're three hundred pounds over weight. Oh, my God! How did I not see that before?" What the hell are these parents doing that they don't notice their kids getting morbidly obese.
But that's beside the point. The point is that we need a solution to this problem, and not one of those namby-pamby-why-not-spend-money-on-the-kids-crazy-ass solutions, but one that does not require us to invest a cent in this future generation--one that will work.
Oh, I've got it! Let's rely on a ten year old's sense of shame to solve the problem. Forget about providing the kid options or enacting policies for the child's future health, let's just call him fat until he stops eating. Hey, that'll work.
Plus, when the kid finally breaks down and goes hunting his fellow students and teachers, there will be even less fat kids to worry about. It's a real win-win situation.
So, from Monstro D. Whale, I say kudos to you Texas. Finally someone is taking to task those responsible for our nation's problems--grammar school students. It took Texas to finally say that it was high time these kids started pulling their weight (oh, you knew I was gonna go there).
So, I turned on my news on the internet this morning and they had a report that in Texas (where they grow 'em big), they are trying to pass legislation to include students' weights on their report card. In other words, they are going to get a grade in FAT. That's not an abbreviation, that's fat. No "PH".
Now, since this was the stupidest idea I've ever heard, I assumed that it was a republican bill, but no. NO! Democrat. People, there is no island of intelligence that we can wash up on. You've got your choice. You either vote "Stupid" or "Moron". That's it.
So, why is this the dumbest idea any one has ever come up with. Well, let's look at the reasoning behind it. These kids are evidently overweight. Too bad. There are so many overweight kids that it has become an epidemic. That sucks. Chances are that these kids will not outlive their parents. Dang. These kids will require your tax dollars to take care of their health needs and will probably cite obesity as the reason they cannot work (do I have the Republicans attention?) , taking money away from the social programs that feed the poor unfortunate non-English speakers escaping the hardships of their native land (...and now the democrats are on board).
Realistically, this is a huge problem, like smoking, but if we tax these kids for their pariah status we'd have to tax food, and since we all eat, we'd all have some problems (so can't do that). I mean really, unhealthy kids become unhealthy adults, and that's the long and the short of it. So, how do we solve this problem. Well, why are these kids obese?
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that these kids' problem is that they aren't eating right and they aren't getting enough exercise. So, how do we solve this problem? Oh, I don't know give them healthier food, force them to go exercise...NO DAMN WAY!
You see getting them to eat healthier food would be like, oh I don't know, forcing school lunch programs to make healthy food. Can't do that. Big money in feeding people crap. Feeding them nutritious meals would mean taking vending machines out of the school. Hey, those vending machines are paying for the band uniforms so that the school can compete in the upcoming "Parade Against Heart Disease." The long and the short of it is, in order to get these kids to eat right, we'd have to buy them food. We'd have to dump money into the school to make sure our kids aren't eating cholesterol ridden slop. Now, I know you all like your kids, but really, come on. Let's not forget who makes the money around here. The next thing they'll ask the parents to do is to pay for P.E. Classes. Oh! Hell NO! That's asking a lot from parents who have to be notified by mail of their child's weight.
I still get a crack out of that. "It says here Johnny that you're three hundred pounds over weight. Oh, my God! How did I not see that before?" What the hell are these parents doing that they don't notice their kids getting morbidly obese.
But that's beside the point. The point is that we need a solution to this problem, and not one of those namby-pamby-why-not-spend-money-on-the-kids-crazy-ass solutions, but one that does not require us to invest a cent in this future generation--one that will work.
Oh, I've got it! Let's rely on a ten year old's sense of shame to solve the problem. Forget about providing the kid options or enacting policies for the child's future health, let's just call him fat until he stops eating. Hey, that'll work.
Plus, when the kid finally breaks down and goes hunting his fellow students and teachers, there will be even less fat kids to worry about. It's a real win-win situation.
So, from Monstro D. Whale, I say kudos to you Texas. Finally someone is taking to task those responsible for our nation's problems--grammar school students. It took Texas to finally say that it was high time these kids started pulling their weight (oh, you knew I was gonna go there).
posted by Monstro D. Whale at
1:36 PM
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