taxes on traffic
If cigarettes are taxed over 100% of their original cost because they are unhealthy, then what, pray tell, is the government planning to do about this. I mean cigarettes are just addictive. Traffic is inevitable and unavoidable. I think that people should only be allowed to have traffic in designated areas, and "Big Traffic" should have to be paid to make commercials designed to let people know the "TRUTH." Maybe they could stage a jam or something outside the office of Ford or something. Ohh...I know, they could have a guy discussing committing mass murder, you know talking it over with the other passengers of his SUV, but nobody speaks up to tell him that he has a bad idea and then the camera pans back and the entire vehicle is empty. Then a statistic comes on the screen about how nobody car pools and how nobody takes public transportation, and then that TRUTH logo comes up, you know the one--the one that always makes me want to light up. Meanwhile SUV's will jump up from $20,000 to $40,000 ($80,000 in New York) because the government wants you to be safe and wants to show how they are really really REALLY concerned about your health. What do you guys think?
posted by Monstro D. Whale at
8:01 AM
2 Comments:
Oh, I can't wait to take a long drag from a Camel Light, blow the smoke in someone's face, and say, "ewwww, you're a driiiver." Then, I'll make one of those fake coughing sounds those self-righteous assholes make when passing by me.
I also can't wait for the commercial wherein the pregnant lady keeps trying to start her car, unsuccessful because God is telling her that driving is going to kill her baby. "Maybe someone's trying to tell you something," the voice-over says, "and if you're going to drive, you might as well just pull out a rusty coathanger and get it over with."
On an only vaguely related note:
My angelic baby brother, at age two, somehow came to the conclusion that cigarettes kill people. One would think that this would make me a happy and proud older sister, and it did. The only problem is clearly that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. He took to sharing this insight with anyone and everyone he saw smoking a cigarette. He would earnestly look up at the cigarette smoker with his baby blue eyes and say, "You know, you're gonna DIE."
One day, a friend's mother was driving us to the mall, in her SUV, through horrific New Jersey mall traffic, when she rolled down her window and lit up a cigarette.
My little brother piped up from the back seat: "You know, you're gonna DIE."
To which she replied: "Honey, we're all gonna die."
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