Dis'd by Dis
Well, as has become the blogational past time, I too have taken the test to determine which level of hell I will belong to. I took the test preparing my best, "Why do you W.A.S.T.E?" (Dante/Pynchon reference) and then I was judged. Here are the results:
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
So, there you have it folks, I'm not going to Hell at all. I want everyone to marvel at just how not-evil I am, remembering of course, that I carry around a pack of empty cigarettes to show to people who want to bum off me. Evidentally, that's not worthy of eternal damnation.
Some advice, I think I slipped through some sort of loophole in the system. I answered honestly, but still...something must have gone wrong, and I should not be held as example by the rest of you sinners, who I am better than, and who deserve to, and most likely will, burn in a lake of fire, unless you throw off the shackles of your false idols and start worshipping our lord and savior Jesus Christ toot sweet (or however, you spell that--damn Frenchies, they're going to Hell too I'll bet).
And by Christ, I of course mean Zeus, son of the titans, father of the Gods. Live well, my Delphites, for not but Hades awaits us all.
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Extreme |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | Low |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | High |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | Moderate |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Very Low |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Moderate |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | Very Low |
| Level 7 (Violent) | Moderate |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | Moderate |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | Very Low |
So, there you have it folks, I'm not going to Hell at all. I want everyone to marvel at just how not-evil I am, remembering of course, that I carry around a pack of empty cigarettes to show to people who want to bum off me. Evidentally, that's not worthy of eternal damnation.
Some advice, I think I slipped through some sort of loophole in the system. I answered honestly, but still...something must have gone wrong, and I should not be held as example by the rest of you sinners, who I am better than, and who deserve to, and most likely will, burn in a lake of fire, unless you throw off the shackles of your false idols and start worshipping our lord and savior Jesus Christ toot sweet (or however, you spell that--damn Frenchies, they're going to Hell too I'll bet).
And by Christ, I of course mean Zeus, son of the titans, father of the Gods. Live well, my Delphites, for not but Hades awaits us all.
posted by Monstro D. Whale at
10:29 AM
2 Comments:
You're just not trying hard enough. You might try working on those pun skills. It's oh bloggitory to check out how you fare in the afterlife.
Now I know your religious proclivities. You are moral, upstanding and a goodly person. You are also as much of a sick warped wonderful individual as Jason and many others. Wouldn't know you if you weren't.
But this. I don't know if I can keep responding to someone who can't even sin enough in an allegorcal literary landscape to rate something better than the pallid, wishy washy thin souls of purgatory.
It flabbergasted me that you didn't rate for at least third circle. I suspect from past writing that you qualify for at least "Lustful." Dimsdale's A alone should have put you and anyone who has listened to it {including Motormouth} into that particularly literary construction. Warhammer players probably have a special section too.
I think you owe it to us to retake the test.
I know a man who loves those places in literature wherein the narrator or character realizes that the world is a bleak and barren wasteland of bad faith, places wherein hope is but a mirage in the desert of the self (the oasis not disappearing before one has crammed a mouthful of sand down the gullet), wherein one is trapped within an existential hermeneutic circle (a la W.A.S.T.E.: are people conspiring against me, or are people conspiring to make me feel as if people are conspiring against me?)
Not only does this man cherish those dark, Godless moments, but he has a SPECIAL LAUGH reserved for them.
That man is Brian Johnson, A.K.A. Monstro.
I second Avram: re-take the fucking test.
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