paper boy redux

I realize that the question on everyone's mind is: what are the differences between crosswalks in California and those in Northampton? Good question. I'll try to address your concerns.First of all, in California when the light turns green in the direction you wish to walk, you are legally allowed to cross the intersection. If you have pressed the special button, a lit up sign will tell you as such. In Northampton, this is not the case. Even when the traffic in the direction you wish to travel gets its green, you may NOT walk. The sign will not change. You will be forced to sit and watch an intersection which you could hypothetically cross in safety without crossing it. In Northampton, walkers get their own light, so to speak. So that traffic goes one way, then the next, and then the walkers are allowed to go, no matter the direction of their stroll. In fact, when they are given the go-ahead, they may even cross the street diagonally. These are the rules. You cannot walk in the crosswalk until you are given permission by the signal.Now, outside the crosswalk is a whole different story. Outside of the crosswalk, you may cross the street any time anywhere. You may hold traffic up as they wait for you to cross the street. What's more, as there is no sign to tell you when to start and when to stop, whole streams of people can cross the street, one after another, effectively blocking off downtown, as long as they are not in a crosswalk. You may think, 'well, I'm sure these jay walkers wait for the coast to be clear before they step out in front of speeding motorists.' No. No, they do not. In fact, if you are walking in Northampton and you pause at the side walk, say to check out what kind of restaurants are across the way, chances are that traffic will come to a screeching stop--just in case you were thinking about maybe crossing the street.This is a natural reaction because as far as I can tell, no one in Northampton so much as looks at whether or not there's a car coming when they jump out, and jump out is the right term. Sometimes they go between cars and you'll think, 'hey, that guys just getting into his car.' Sometimes they'll even give you a little fake out by looking in one of the cars, and then BOOM, there they are right in front of you.In California, people tend to use the crosswalks, and only jaywalk as a last resort, and even then they are careful not to step directly in front of traffic. In Northampton, people actively avoid the crosswalks because crosswalks have rules about when they can go and when they have to stand there. Who the hell needs that?!?What makes this situation worse is that Northampton, along with its disdain for crosswalks, isn't too keen on lanes either. There are points in downtown where the street is wide enough for three lanes, but as far as actual painted markers dividing up the street go, there is none to speak of. Basically, you keep to the right, unless someone is pulling out, or you decide that you want to be left, and then you swerve over and perhaps back, not like you've changed lanes or anything, just kind of a drift. If the guy in front of you has decided that the street only has one lane, he'll sit sort of in the middle of the street, just swerving and watching for suicidal pedestrians. Maybe he'll pull a U turn. No need to wait for that pesky light for that. No siree.The best way to think of driving in Northampton is this: imagine that you wake up one day and there are no people. How would you drive? Would you stay inside the lanes? Would you watch for cars when you pulled out of a parking space? Would you drive on the right side of the road? Okay, how about walking? Would you look both ways before crossing the street? Would you move fast across the street so that the cars waiting for you wouldn't have to wait too long? Would you even use the sidewalks?Okay, that's Northampton. Everybody drives and walks as if there wasn't another person in town who might run them over or crash into them, or whatever, if they aren't careful.Do you know what's pretty much illegal in this state? Turning right on a red light. I'll say that again. Nearly every intersection has a sign that says, "no right turn on red." That's a driving privilege that people in Massachusetts evidently abused and lost. How bad do you have to drive that they won't let you turn right on a red light? All you have to do is look over your shoulder, make sure your not cutting anybody off, and go. That was declared beyond these people' skills.But I suppose the real difference between crosswalks in California and the ones here in Northampton is that they beep here. When the signal turns to "Walk," it is accompanied by the sound of a chirping bird. I think that this is so that blind people won't collide with the pedestrians while they are out driving.